an attempt at something more

2006-08-05T00:27:00.000-04:00

I know what I want:

I want a simple Christ-centered life.

One that is constant.

I don't want a loud relationship;

but one that people notice and admire.

I want ot live in the way Jesus intended.

That includes helping the poor and the weak.

I understnad that I am not going to understand God,

or why He does what He does.

But one day, He will explain it to me, and I will say..

"that is why You are Holy."

.. now i just need to figure out how.

Just Another Isrealite ...

2006-07-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

I am beginning to realize I sure do identify with the Old Testament Isrealites. For some reason they seem more real to me then most people in the church today. One moment they know that God is there God, THEE God. And the next moment, they have forgotten and are worshipping whatever trend comes up next. Forgetting who they are and becoming those around them. I think I fall into this oh too often. Times in my life when I am totally on fire for God, and then I forget, and get involved in me, and what I want.

But all through the times where the Isrealites fall away, God is still there. He waits patiently for them to return. How can He stand to watch? Jealously raging at His people forgetting Him. Forgeting there creator. I think the worst part is, we know this, and we don’t care.

A Different Perspective

2006-05-04T16:44:00.000-04:00

This is from an email devotional by Chris Weirsma, I found it to be quite thought provoking and refreshing.

Once in every life…
It would be good to lose everything we have in order to discover the true value of things (or lack thereof). Only those who’ve experienced loss can be unafraid of it.

Every one of us needs to have our dreams die so we can learn our life does not subsist in them. Rather, they are the “trinkets” and “candies” of thought.

Once in every life, we must stand on our ideas, alone, to see that they are the things which drive the universe.

Every person needs an enemy. The fight makes the outcome more meaningful.

It is good to listen to someone else’s story as though it’s the only story we’ve ever heard. To be completely lost in someone else’s tale is the only way outside ourselves.

We need our hearts deeply broken so we can begin to wonder what it’s like to be God.

It is appointed unto each of us to die so we can know what living really is.

I hope this might change the way you look at loss…

Grace...

2006-05-01T22:56:00.000-04:00

"Start with Grace"

That was what one of my friends said last night. Every person you meet, just start the relationship with grace. I think thats something we don't do, we always prejudge people. How are we to show Christ's love when we immediately look down on someone? It also reminds me of one of my friends, he got 70 x 7 tatooed on his wrist (although it was all cool in greek and had a cool design) to remind him anytime he met someo eand went to shake there hand, that he should immediately forgive them for any future transgressions. (sheesh, transgressions, what a christianese word.)

Anyways, wouldn't it be revolutionary if we all treated eachother that way? Immediately meet people with grace. I mean, that is what Jesus taught wasn't it?

2006-04-20T23:05:00.000-04:00

I should post something soon.

Question:

2006-03-22T18:31:00.000-04:00

Why does Jesus teach us how to live?

Why is this important?

Swee's Current Thoughts on Prayer

2006-02-01T18:38:00.000-04:00

Why is it that people will pray for months and months about something God will obviously bles? And if He doesn't want it to happen, it won't.

We pray to be more like Jesus. Well God isn't just going to flip the Jesus switch on in our lives. God answers this prayer I believe, by giving us oppotunities to be more like Jesus. However most of the time we don't act like Jesus. We rebel against our own prayers.

Sometimes God answers our prayers, by giving us the ability to answer them ourselves.

The Desert

2006-01-08T03:07:00.000-04:00

I found this on a website and I really enjoyed it ...

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." (Psalm 63)

We should not be surprised that one of the central pictures of God in the Bible is water. Much of life is desert, and it is in the desert that one understands the water of God.

Love Period

2005-12-04T01:13:00.000-04:00

For everyone we meet, we should ask "How can I bless them?"

Love.

2005-11-16T00:40:00.000-04:00

I've seen too much to deny,
too little to be sure.
-Starfield

Ramblings ...

2005-11-07T00:08:00.000-04:00

So lately my mind has been everywhere. I'm at this mass confusion about God, and thats okay. Questions keep coming to my mind, that I can't answer. I'm uncomfortable with a lot of things, and I think I'm truly beginning to understand. Its been a constant build-up of changing my views from a few years back when I was caught up in a legalistic church. I've been learning a lot the past few years, from reading a lot of amazing books and having interesting conversations with people also on their spiritual journeys. So now here I am. At the climax of what has been building for a few years. I just have to sort a few things out, maybe this climax will last a few years as well.

Something that I have been thinking about tonight though is this......do people have different relationships with God? And I'm not saying that one is stronger then the other, I am saying different. Like how your relationship with one person is different from another person but you are still you. So why can't God have a different type of relationship with different people. We aren't all the same, and God is HUGE with many facets.

So maybe your God ... isn't my God ... although they are the same God. Is that ok?

2005-10-13T23:40:00.000-04:00

I just want to say ...

GOD IS GOOD!

Oh Lord, You are the author of joy in my life! Only you can turn the bad into good. You give me comfort and peace and surround me by love. Oh Father you are most wonderful! And I am wholly Yours!

Matthew 15

2005-10-06T14:11:00.000-04:00

So there He was, JESUS, trying to get away from the crowds, to spend time in communication with God. He finds himself sitting on a hill over looking the Sea of Galilee. Soon, people from all over start coming to Jesus, asking for healing and yearning for His words. People who could not speak were given the ability to speak, those that were crippled were made strong, the lame could walk, and the blind could see. Three days these people spent with Jesus.

This is the story about Jesus feeding the 4,000, which I always thought, "yeah thats neat." ... but I mean, its God of course He can turn a few small loaves and fish into a huge meal. Whats neat about this story, is the flipside. These people dropped there lives, walked who knows how far away from there homes to find a man that they heard of. Then they didn't eat, they didn't drink, they sat there captivated by Jesus. Who was this man?

Andrea made a good point about this as well, it's not as if these people got an email of Jesus' tour schedule, or got a text msg "J.C @ the Hill". It was "hey I think the Messiah is here" passed along to person to person, and they came!! What a revolutionary..

My Declaration

2005-09-27T23:43:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been drawn to 2 Corinthians and I can't figure out why. I feel like I've been on the edge of something for the past week, but I'm not sure what it is. Thoughts from conversations have been bouncing around my head (you have no idea how much our conversations mean to me), but not concluding .. What does it all mean, God what are you trying to tell me?

So maybe this is it, what I felt I needed to write tonight, here to share it with whomever. This is not me bragging, you are now my accountability, hold me to this:

My Declaration:

I want to live everyday growing closer to Jesus. I dont want to be a follower of a mundane religion. Jesus is life, an exciting life that I want to live. I never want to get bored talking about my Savior. I never want to lose passion. Instead I want to grow more passionate everday. I want to experience God all the time, in many different ways. I want zeal. I want to love unconditionally with no limits. I dont want to judge. I dont want to be comfortable in a place that is not my home. I want knowledge. I want to be a seeker. I want to hear from God. I want to pray, alot. I want to be strong when I am weak. I want to be a servant. I want a pure life. I want to bear fruits of the Spirit. Patience! Kindness! I want to be able to forgive, turn the other cheek. I want to trust and obey. I want to stop planning my life and let God. I want self control. I want to shine and be a light. I dont ever want to be ashamed of the gospel. I want to be used by God. I want to be a new creation. I want joy. I dont want to be alone. I want this for everyday til my life ends or the Lord returns... God I want to want only You, and be okay with that.

God I think what I want is what You want me to be. God I beg You, please help me with that, and convict me when I'm not.

2005-09-24T00:11:00.000-04:00

I once was told a story, that has stuck in my head for some while. God uses it to convict me every so often when I need it. The story goes as follows:

George and Marc are out for lunch, they've been good friends for a long time. This lunch is a special one, because Marc is going to introduce his new bride to George. Unforuntatly George was out of town when Marc met his wife and married her. Marc was excited however that George finally got to meet her. Marc beamed when she stepped into the restaurant, she met them there since Marc and George had spent the morning together. She sat down, the three chatted a bit, and ordered there food. After eating Marc's wife left in a hurry as she was called into work. The two men were left alone. "Isn't she great? I'm so happy that I'm with her!" exclaimed Marc. George looked at Marc, "Marc, we've been friends for awhile, but honestly, I can't believe you married her! She's fat! I can't believe you choose to wake to her every morning! I wish I had been around when you two met, I surely would have told you not to marry her!"

So I am sure your thinking, "WHAT?!" what kind of friend would say that! Its creul isn't it? I mean, if he thought that, he should have kept quiet. And secondly, why would he want to think that in the first place? So why do we do that with Jesus? The Church is Christs bride, however we're always knocking it down. We judge minor things that shouldn't be of importance. Yes, denominations are different, but is that so bad? Should I really judge on what one is better than another, when we all think were right? Should it really matter if they are preaching the true gospel and people are being saved? I left a chuch that was pious and believed they were right in everything and everyone else was wrong. So why am I turning into one of those people? I am the first to knock down some of the churches in my community, and I should stop doing this. Honestly, I do not know how God feels about them, and Im sure God uses even those Churches that appear that they are in the wrong. God has a plan in the works that I dont know about, so Im going to stop interfering. Christ's bride ... i'll try not to forget that.

2005-09-04T22:54:00.000-04:00

dont' waste your life

From the Gutter ...

2005-08-08T22:51:00.000-04:00

I'm presently reading 'The Gutter' by Craig Gross. He's a youth pastor who founded Fireproof Ministries and more commonly known, the XXXChurch. I just wanted to share some portions of the book since its some good stuff to think about ..

"Don't blame the dark for being dark. Blame the light for not shining on the dark."

"Nine months after we started XXXchurch, we put up a billboard on one of the local highways, but the complaints of the relgious forced us to take it down after just one month. Since we'd blown $4000 on just that one billboard, we decided to advertise a different way--with something no one could take down. We got a car. Not just a car, but the hip, new Toyota Scion XB. Then we wrapped it up in some rad XXXchurch.com graphics and voila--our very own driving billboard. We call it the "Porn Mobile."

Shortly after the Porn Mobile came into being, my wife Jeanette and I, along with our then-nine-month-old son Nolan, drove it to one of the most progressive churches in California. I have some friends who attend regularly, and we thought now would be a good time to check out the service and bring along the Porn Mobile for its maiden voyage. We parked without incident, attended the service, and prepared to head home. My wife went to the nursey to pick up Nolan and then headed to the car to feed him while I stayed behind to talk to one of the church's men's group leaders.

She took off for the Porn Mobile, but when she got there, she found it surrounded by three people, a note on the windshied. She snatched the note up and read it: "You are more than welcome to come back to this church, but please do not park the car here or bring the car at all." Nice welcome.

At this point, my wife decided to carry out her mission of feeding Nolan, but as she tried to get into the car; one of the three people surrounding it began harassing her. He kept telling her that "XXX" is a dirtyword and therefore should be taken out of the slogan, while she kept telling him that it was a good thing, trying to explain our mission. Aware that the whole encounter was going downhill fast, my wife finally just got in the car and started with the feeding.

A different man came over to talk with the guy who'd originally started hassling Jeanette. After hearing she was in the car, he started harassing her by pounding on the window. Well, by this point Jeanette was pretty upset and tried to call my cell phone so I could come rescue her. Unfortunately I'd turned it off druing the service (note to the PowerPoint announcement people: Those reminders to turn off your cell phone really do work) and hadn't turned it back on. She was officially stuck.

Things settled down, and the people finally went away. After she was done feding and Nolan had a full tummy, Jeanette got out of the car to come find me. As she walked through the parking lot, one of the attendants tracked her down and told her the police were on their way. Someone had called them and complained about the Porn Mobile, and now the long arm of the law was getting involved.

It was getting surreal. What happened next intested me the most. The window-pounding guy saw my wife talking to the parking lot attendant (who was relived to hear what we were about). He interrupted them to start an argument. My wife tried to brush the window-pounding guy off, but he was persistent in his attack. And you know what he kept saying to her? "I don't want to discourage you from coming back to our church, BUT.." I can't think of a less loving thing to say to a person.

All this over a stupid car.

In a church parking lot.

So, while all this was going down, I was having a lovely chat. I'd even mentioned the Porn Mobile to the guy I was talking to, and he wanted to come see it. He had other business to attend to first, so I told him where we parked and then headed out the door to meet up with Jeanette. When I got there, I found out all that had gone on and started laughing at the absurdity of it all (though I felt bad that this had happend to my wife). Of course, Jeanette didn't find it funny.

The parking lot attendant informed me of the police involvement and suggested we just hop in the ol' Porn Mobile and hightail it out of there. Call it pride, call it righteous indignation, call it just plain stubbornness, but I wasn't having any of that. We stood our ground and stuck around to see what would happen. Sure enough, the police came. Secretly, I was hoping they'd try to handcuff the Porn Mobile--it would've made a great page on our website.

Finally, salvation--the men's leader I'd been talking to earlier came out from the church. He saw all that was going on, shook his head in disgust, ripped up the note, and apologized to us profusely. The parking lot circus disbanded, and we all went our separate ways.

Crazy, but true. And although it seemed lighthearted at the time, the experience began to sink in as we piloted the Porn Mobile home. What if I were a porn producer, involved in this filthy XXX industry? What if I were searching for God and had driven my company's vehicle to church as I sought Him? Shouldn't the church embrace and welcome me no matter what I do, what I look like, or what kind of car I drive? Shouldn't they be thrilled that a true seeker was paying a visit?"

I must say, I love these ministries that get backlash from the Church. What XXXchurch is doing is amazing and it is making a huge impact. I find it so sad though that some Churches don't embrace it though. It's like how Bono is doing AMAZING things in Africa in the name of Jesus, and you'll hear Christians say "yah, but he drinks and swears so he isn't a Christian." I'm sorry, but Bono lives a more Christian life than most. I'm sick and tired of Churches just shouting what people are doing wrong, "God hates Gays!" "Abortionists Are Going to Hell" ... like do they honestly think these people are just going to say, "Oh your right, let me just quit the life I'm living" .. uh, NO! And thats why Jesus didn't do that either. What did Jesus do? He made relationships with people! He got right down into where they lived, he sat with them, he ate with them, he spoke with them. He got to know them! And then, THEN did he try to persuade them to turn their lives to Christ, and you know what happened? They would! Because they saw Jesus as real. I believe the most influential Christians out there are the ones that live what they preach. They don't get caught up in the "Christian Ghetto", because nothing gets done from the ghetto.

So this is my shout out to all you (and mostly myself), to go do something from someone, show your faith in a tangible way. Stop preaching at people and try serving them instead.

Christians in the Workplace

2005-08-04T22:51:00.000-04:00

I've noticed lately the importance Christians have in their workplace. That is, when they are known Christians and trying to lead a Godly life. We've all been told that when people know that you are a Christian they watch you; you may be the only bible they read. But its also important to build relationships with these people. As my part-time job I work in retail as a cashier. As of a few weeks ago all my co-cashiers are in their teens, younger than me. I was really surprised today when one of the girls came in to work and said, "Oh good Marianne I'm so glad your working, I really want to talk to you about something!" She likes to throw herself into soap opera situations of dating someone and having feelings for another. So she told me the whole story, asked me what she should do. And I found it really heartwarming that she even wanted my opinion. Then I got to thinking about how a lot of the girls I work with open up to me and tell me things that they dont even tell their best friends. I believe it because they know that I am a Christian, and the stance I take on their issues is a moral one. Through me helping them with their problems, it leads to them learning about Jesus, which is where conversations lead.

So shine in your workplace, develop relationships, help people to see Jesus.

Pain

2005-07-23T23:30:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been reading 'The Problem of Pain' by CS Lewis, and these are my thoughts on pain, and why it exists...

Physical pain needs to exist. Without it we would not be aware of dangerous surroundings. For instance, we don't get burned because we feel the burn of heat. It also gives indication when soemthing is wrong with us. We are given freewill, so it is possible to hurt on another.
Mental pain exists and sometimes can be worse than physical pain. But we learn from it, we grow stronger from it. If we decide to turn to the Lord with it. Pain can bring us closer to God, which is a blessing.
But mostly, borrowing CS Lewis' idea of the reason for pain (and i LOVE this), without pain, we would be too comfortable here! This is not our home, heaven is! Pain reminds us we don't belong here!

"The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The setled happiness and security which we all desire, God witholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ectasy. It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppos an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some plesant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

2005-07-09T12:10:00.000-04:00

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

2005-06-25T22:45:00.000-04:00

I know one day that you will crash,
I pray that this day comes soon.

Because when you do,
there is no other way then up.

Your ideas will be put to rest,
no longer will you be stuck in a moment.

But why don't you care?
Theres so much more out there.

Does the world have that much of a hold on you?
Why don't you fight?

You give up so easily,
take the lazy way out.

While I stand at a distance,
shouting for you to repent.

You are so blinded by darkness,
your eyes dont see the light.

You are such a fool,
but i still care for you.

God hear my prayers,
for those that fell.

Something From Awhile Ago, But it Seems to Apply....

2005-06-17T13:42:00.000-04:00

who am I? that You are
mindful of me?
i must die to live,
but how?

i'm too comfortable with myself,
with my dragon,
on my shoulder.

it will hurt to remove it,
so why deal with the pain?
its too easy to just say no.

are things really simple?
am i making much
out of nothing?

i long for peace and tranquility.
to turn the world
off.

to dim the lights,
to dim the struggles,
to dim the pressures.

i wish i was in eden,
before the fall,
simplicity.

where love walked beside me,
no worries at all.
no need to search.

everything so perfect,
until the day,
where selfishness enters,
and all is ruined.

kill the sef, find a peace of Eden.
where God walks in the cool
of the day.

smiles.
no frowns.
no hurting.
no hard decisions.

i try so many things.
happiness lasts but for a moment.
lead me to contentment.

im blinded, its obvious
joy is there, it is in me,
but i suffocate it.

Lord help me release my grip
from around its neck.
such empty words though.

do i mean it? my head says
yes, my heart says no.
i can get by that.

i have too much self,
but not enough of You.
You try to come, but I fight You.

ignore the self Lord and heal me,
no longer do i want to be
self.

why cant i live for You?
its not easy, speak to me,
guide me.
kill the self.

A Prayer

2005-06-06T23:14:00.000-04:00

"Holy Spirit, please come down in and break down self in me"

That was just a prayer in something I'm reading right now. But how great is it? So simple and so powerful.

Following J.C.

2005-06-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

"If your going to follow Jesus, then your going to have to follow Him, His way"

This was something I siad to the elderly "security guard" that works at my school today. If you ever step on campus, I'm sure you'll encounter him. He talks to everyone. I marvel at the way he can strike up a conversation with anyone. It's a trait I don't carry, so it intrigues me. I believe it has a lot to do with confidence. So today I was sitting in the lovely sun reading my bible, when he came over to my picnic table and sat down with me. We struck up a conversation about God and Jesus, and what we believed. I think he basically believes in getting to God through works, and being a good person. And he is a good person, but thats not enough, not for anyone. He goes to a United Church (occasionally, but his wife goes every week). Its unfortuante that not all churches teach the true Gospel. It came down to it though, that if your going to follow Jesus, then your going to have to follow Him, His way. You can't make up your own way to God.

2005-05-31T23:12:00.000-04:00

I dont know why I'm posting this picture, but I just found something spiritual about this tree, late in bloom, but bringing forth such life.

Motive

2005-05-20T00:20:00.000-04:00

"I may speak in different languages of people or even angels. But if I do not have love, I am only a noisy bell or a crashing cymbal. I may have the gift of prophecy. I may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge and I may have faith so great I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I do not have love, then I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing if I do not have love. "

! Cor. 13:1-3

A Test of Spirituality

2005-05-17T11:09:00.000-04:00

"You are still not spiritual, because there is jealousy and quarreling among you, and this shows that you are not spiritual. You are acting like people of the world."

1 Cor. 3:3 NCV

So there is the test, examine yourself.

Behind the Scenes

2005-05-11T22:22:00.000-04:00

So I've been praying for one of my friends a lot lately. I just have a problem seeing God working in his life, although I know He is. As I've mentioned before, I love Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, mostly because it reveals to me so well how perfect God's whole plan is. So anyways, if I know God works perfectly, so I know He's working in the situation, even if I can't see. And I take comfort in knowing that if God is working in that situation, then He's working behind the scenes in my life too. I may be the actress, but hes the director and the whole crew.

Anyways, I believe that may have just made sense in my head, so I will make one comment. Isn't it great, that God works in our lives? He's doing things now that will adversly affect my life 20 years from now, because HE knows the plan, and its a perfect one! Very cool.

Even More Goodness..

2005-05-05T21:49:00.000-04:00

Well relevantmagazine.com has been on a roll these days of posting good articles. So here's another one!

Lasting Relationship by Chris Tyron

The relationship was rocky from the very beginning. I think we both knew that would be the case. We were coming from such different places and backgrounds. The age difference would no doubt be a factor, as would the number of successful friendships I had been a part of. There was no question that I would have a lot to learn about commitment and love to hold up my end of things. But I found His advances irresistible.From very early on, there were signs of possessiveness. I could sense that He would not compete with any other suitors. Although this scared me at first, as I listened to my friends and other people who knew Him, I came to accept this as one of His requirements. After all, He had sacrificed much to be with me, and I figured that I owed Him something for that. The nature of commitment would be something we would talk about late into the night, especially when I would come in late. I will admit to pursuing others, wanting to experience the rush that accompanied seeing others behind His back. When I would return from one of these flings, sometimes He would address it straight on, blowing me away with His directness, wounding me in the process. But most of the time, the guilt was enough to make me confess my unfaithfulness. Despite my questionable character and frequent changes of heart, His love was a model of consistency. For instance, there was this one time that I ran to the city and spent all of my money on crazy stuff. After days of living wildly and letting go of any inhibitions, I ended up in the gutter. Finding myself hungry and alone, I tucked my tail and limped back home, embarrassed and thoroughly humbled. Walking back to the house, unkempt and without a penny to my name, I prepared for a scolding or at least a lecture. The lecture never came. In fact, He saw me walking up the sidewalk and embraced me for what seemed like an hour. Our relationship was restored, and we never talked about it again. As time has passed, I have strayed from Him less and less. Somehow, the very things from my past that had excited me so often have lost their luster. I think that maybe I started to see them for what they really were. I came to understand that these dalliances with other lovers made me a whore. And that realization made me both sad and grateful at the same time. Sad that I am so susceptible to their temptations. Grateful that He seems to understand my weakness.The future of our romance seems bright. He said that He will build a home for me in some faraway place. He said that He would need to go away for a while to make sure the preparations are complete. Some days I don't think of Him much, but other days I can almost sense His Spirit. I can't wait until He returns. I don't have the heart for these long-distance relationships.“Even so, come, Lord Jesus.” —Revelation 22:20

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=6341

I'm Right!

2005-05-04T23:05:00.000-04:00

Whoever said Jesus died so that you can go to heaven, is a liar!!! Okay, well of course you get to go to heaven when you are saved, but heaven is just a bonus to it! See, read ...

"Jesus was given to die for our sins, and he was raised from the dead to make us right with God."

Romans 4:25

I like that wording because it makes me think about how when I'm right with a person, how I can act. I can trust them and depend on them, how I dont feel any guilt for anything I've done to them. How I am happy, and they are happy. It pleases me that I am able to be right with God, and I dont doubt it pleases Him too. For an example, you know when you have an arguement with someone, then you make up? After that your back to being "right" with the person, and its so freeing! See, heaven is just a bonus, what Jesus did was make us right with God! And being right with God allows us to enjoy Him in heaven and be free!

Value ..

2005-04-27T23:45:00.000-04:00

I just read this really awesome article on www.relevantmagazine.com which of course is THEE best magazine in the world! Anyways the article was about Christian Culture and not being fake and lots of good things, heres a paragraph though that I loved:

"The only thing that can save the world is Jesus Christ. And the way that Jesus taught His followers to live was counter-culturally. To bring the kingdom of God to earth is to value things that the world does not value. It means that image doesn’t matter. It means that being relevant to culture falls at the altar of love and sacrifice. It means that we go about things like reconciliation, marriage, handling money and relationships differently than the rest of the population." ~Matt Conner

I just love where he says to value things that the world does not value. Because the world, doesn't even know what to value! They value all the wrong things, like money, lust, pride and power. What should Christians value? Love, forgiveness, trust and God to name just a few. Read about Jesus, he was against the grain, and so should we! Jesus valued meaningful times with his friends, He valued people (even the people who society didn't value), and He valued time alone talking with God. Where are your values?

(if you want to read the article its at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/article.php?sid=6274)

2005-04-26T23:24:00.000-04:00

To view the other side of me ...

www.xanga.com/mariswee

A Quote ...

2005-04-24T22:52:00.000-04:00

This is from the book Searching For God Knows What by Donald Miller. I highly suggust you pick up this book, and his other book Blue Like Jazz.

Anyways this is from a chapter in his book where he is talking about how we all try to find redemption in other people instead of God.

"Jesus says many times in the gospels that He knows the heart of man, and the heart of man does not have the power to give glory. I think Jesus is saying, 'Look, you guys are running around like monkeys trying to get people to clap, but people are fallen, they are separated from God, so they have no idea what is good or bad, worthy to be judged or set free, beautiful or ugly to begin with. Why not get your glory from God? Why not accept your feelings of redemption because of His pleasure in you, not the fickle and empty favor of man? And only then will you know who you are, and only then will you have true, uninhibited relationships with others.'"

Public Service Announcement

2005-04-18T23:04:00.001-04:00

STOP SELLING YOURSELF OUT!

I have decided that I am sick and tired of people selling themselves out. They think that they are too unimportant. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! You are important to yourself firstly! No one hates themselves! So why not do something for yourself! Get a good grade to make YOURSELF happy! Work on getting a promotion to make YOURSELF happy! Take the struggles in your life and FIX them to make YOURSELF happy! Because if YOU are happy then YOU will make OTHERS happy.

And even more important, YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO GOD! God cares about every little thing in YOUR life! He cares about your prayers, even those unanswered ones! He CARES about those struggles, He CARES about that sadness, He CARES even when you think He doesn't. He is there. So don't sell yourself out, because you are too important to do that.

Disclaimer: Don't forget to be humble though! I know, its tough to find that line and live on it.

be of good cheer

2005-04-15T23:47:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have one of those days, when your just joyful all day long? To the point where everyone notices? Well today was one of those days for me. I'm not usually like that, I mean I'm not, not happy, but im not, cheerful. People ask me "whats wrong?" all the time, and I say "Nothing." Because nothing is, I just apparently appear to, because I dont look joyful. Anyways, so today I was cheerful, and everyone noticed it, and it spread.

I noticed whenever Jesus healed someone, a lot of the he would say to them be of good cheer. So I was thinking that it must be important to be cheerful. And we have a lot to be cheerful about. And when we're cheerful, people want what we have. I guess as Christians we just should be a cheerful people. I'm not that good at it though, and I can related my cheerfulness to waking up to encouragement, good day, good convo's, good God.

be of good cheer

Too Big for Me

2005-04-14T23:46:00.000-04:00

Ha! I just encounted something neat. So I was talking to one of my friends about Gods commandements n such, and which ones he believes and why. Then he made a commen though saying that its just common sense anyways. Which it is, but who gave us that common sense .... THE GUY WHO MADE THE COMMANDMENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE! I dont know why I think thats neat, it just impacted me a lot tonight. I guess it just shows another example of how were made in His image.

Anyways, so continuing on, Gods gave me a job. A difficult one. SO FREAKIN' HARD! Just when I think I'm getting somewhere with it, the devil comes along and screws it up even more. GRRRRRRRRRRR. So I was kinda identifying with Paul tonight while reading Acts. I'm not an Acts fan I will admit. I've tried to read it, but it just doesn't do anything for me. So I was playing with my new and very snazzy e-Sword program tonight. Oh so many translations, with the greek, and with commentaires! All the good stuff. Anyways so I typed in security. I'm not really sure why, but it came up with this verse in Acts chapter 17. So I read it. So Paul would go to a town and start preaching, and he'd be getting somewhere with the people! It would be awesome, I could just imagine it, I bet Paul would be getting really exciting. Thinking "yah! God is working here! People are getting saved! Hallelujah!" Then what happens? Well as usual, the Pharisees. "Oh Paul is causing a ruckus, Paul is no good, lets run Paul out of this town." Stupid Pharisees! Stupid devil too! I wonder, why does God allow this? WHY GOD WHY!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST USE YOUR AMAZING POWER TO INSTANTLY TO SHUT THESE PEOPLE AND EVIL SPIRITS OUT!

Silence.

I can't even pretend to know why God does things the way He does. Maybe He allows the devil to think hes getting somewhere in order that when he CRUSHES him its even more of a crush. Which is kinda a good feeling, a TAKE THAT devil, my GOD is BIGGER than you.

Anyways, its kind of a test of faith for Paul too. Goes to the next town, same things happen. I have a lot of respect for Paul, many people would give up. So Pauls going to be my new inspiration, if he won't give up, then I won't give up.

My advice, be careful when you ask God to use you, he might just throw you in a situation that is too big for you, which is where He comes in:)

"Oh God give me strength for the job you have given me. Speak through me because I dont know what to say. Lead me, lead the situation. God I just pray that You will help me to succeed, that I wont "be thrown out of town'"

Friends, Strangers, please pray for me. I'm so scared that I will give up and fail. Pray that I will have the strength that Paul had.

Sunday's Lessons

2005-04-10T19:10:00.000-04:00

This morning's service was a good one. One with lots of good things said. I wanted to mention 2 of them, firstly...

"The promise of something more outside God, always ends up being less." How true.

and secondly, after Adam and Even sinned, they hid from God. But God searched them out and drew them in. Amazing, God is good.

Figure It Out For Yourself

2005-03-30T01:33:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you need to stand up for what you believe in. You don't always have to believe everything the Church says. Figure it out for yourself, obviously using God's word. Lately I've been troubled with an issue that was set before me. I know it's so wrong, and not biblically correct. I find it so sad though, that as blantently obvious as it is to me, so many people are blinded. They just agree with it, without much thought. I could just imagine Jesus saying 'Ye Hypocrites!". I hope I am never one of those people who just accept things without thinking them through, without searching the Word, without asking God, what He thinks about it. Sometimes it may seem like your going against the grain, sometimes its easier to just say nothing. But how can anything change, if things are so readily accepted?

Isn't It Great

2005-03-17T00:46:00.000-04:00

Isn't it great, that the God of the universe .. is also a personal God?

Blows my mind.

Can Good and Bad Water, Flow From the Same Spring?

2005-03-16T20:23:00.000-04:00

"People can tame every kind of wild animal, bird, reptile, and fish, and they have tamed them, but no one can tame the tongue. It is wild and evil and full of deadly poison. We use our tongues to priase our Lord and Father, but then we curse people, whom God made like himself. Praises and curses come from the same mouth! My brothers and sisters, this should not happen. Do good and bad water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree make olives, or can a grapevine make figs? No! And a well full of salty water cannot give good water."

James 3:7-12

This struck me tonight, how can you praise God one moment and then turn around and say something bad about someone that God has made in his image? Kinda cancels out the praise huh? Which makes me think, that I guess really I've never really praised God, since the majority of things that come out of my mouth are words wild and evil, and full of deadly poison. So I'm making a vow right now, that will probably be broken in like 10 minutes. No more talking harsh about people! If you notice me doing it, please call me on it. It's gotten to be such a habit of mine. You know reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis has really made me realize how much the devil tries to make us sin. He succeeds with me way too often. You know there is a spiritual war going on around us at each moment. Good Vs. Evil. Whose winning for you?

The devil tries to trick us so much, I pray for open eyes to see his motives. I pray for you too that your eyes will be opened.

I only want good water flowing from my well.

i miss You

2005-03-15T00:22:00.000-04:00

I miss Him. I get this way in the winter. So many things go into hibernation, and I feel like so does God in my life. I long for the summer evenings, sitting outside reading my bible until it got too dark to see the words. The days when my prayers seemed alive. The times when it felt, like God and I were there, together, taking in the warmth of the sun he created. I haven't figured out if this is just a problem with me or what. But I miss Him. I miss Him because there is just so much stuff going on in my life, that I need Him to be here. Oh Lord, I wish you could be here beside me, giving me your awesome advice. Everything just seems so much easier in the summer, I think because I'm so much closer to God. I think its at these times, that God is standing at a distance, letting me make my own decisions, learning from the lessons He has taught me, at a distance, but close enough to catch me.

Overall though, I hate to feel alone. Its what I feel all winter long. The season of lonlieness going on and on. Its cold and frozen, emotionless. The nature isn't screaming 'Jesus Reigns!'. Everything is silence, I am left alone to my own thoughts, thoughts of evil.

Oh God, help me out of this place, lead me back up into your arms. I'm desperate for you. Lost without you.

Well Said Screwtape ..

2005-03-05T23:25:00.000-04:00

"He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creatures to stand up on its own legs--to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best.....He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles."

-The Screwtape Letters C.S. Lewis

Something's Been Rattling

2005-02-24T23:08:00.000-04:00

Theres something thats been rattling around in my head, and being revealed to me daily. I realized it first in C.S. Lewis's writings, then at Church (its noticible when theres 3 sermons in a row on it), then lastly, in my biology class.

God is perfect.

Did you know that? Well of course you do. And if you don't, it even says it in the bible "as your Father in heaven is perfect" Matt. 5:48. Now of course this is something that's been obvious to me, but for some reason, God has been showing me this. He started off by showing me His perfect plan. The plan of creation, the plan of love, the plan of sin, the plan of eternal life. Of course, I dont fully understand it all, but the small amount of it blew my mind. God's plan, is perfect. His thoughts are deeper than anyone could ever think. God is huge!! God is vast!! God is perfect!! In biology we've been studying the human body. I've always enjoyed biology just because I think the body is amazing. Like honestly, so amazing!!! To me it just shouts proof of creation. The body is too perfect to have just have happened.

"The heavens tell the glory of God, and the skies announce what his hands have made. Day after day they tell the story; night after night they tell it again. They have no speech or words; they have no voice to be heard. But their message goes out through all the world; their words go everywhere on earth." Psalms 19:1-4

So lately I've kinda been in awe of God, which is probably, a very good place to be. Especially when I really this huge perfect God, has an interest in me?

Time Prioritzing

2005-02-13T19:55:00.000-04:00

I came to realize something last night ...

It was about 1am and I was getting ready for bed. I sat there putting on hand lotion slowly rubbing into my cuticles, thinking about how tired I was. And how I was too tired to read my bible. Mind you, I spent like 5 minutes pampering myself before bed.

Why do I do that? Why do I spend time so freely on myself, when I could have read some of God's word.

Just something I noticed of myself.

Free Will

2005-02-08T17:02:00.000-04:00

From Mere Christianty by C.S. Lewis

"God created things which had free will. That means creatures which can go either wrong or right. Some people think they can imagine a creature which was free but had no possibility of going wrong; I cannot. If a thing is free to be good it is also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possile, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.......... If God thinks this state of war in the universe a price worth paying for free will --that is, for making a live world in which creatures can do real good or harm and something of real importance can happen, instead of a toy world which only moves when He pulls the strings--then we may take it it is worth paying.......'Why did God make a creature of such rotten stuff that it went wrong?' The better stuff a creature is made of --the cleverer and stronger and freer it is--then the better it will be if it goes right, but also the wrose it will be if it goes wrong."

I really enjoyed reading this portion of Mere Christianity. I love how C.S. Lewis writes. I think the idea of, if a person has the ability to be really bad, then it is even better when he does really good. And just the line of 'Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having". Everything comes down, to God wanting love. I think thats just so beautiful, isn't that what we all want? Our whole life is a quest for love, from the cries of a baby wanting love from his parents, to the quest to find someone to fall in love with, to share the rest of your life loving, and being loved. We really were made in the image of God, with so many of God attributes. And Gods quest, is just to capture our love. Our love that we think is just so unsignificant for God, but its all He wants. The whole thought of God giving free will to find this love, the plan, just so perfect. Makes me realize just how big God is.

The Point of All Living

2005-02-04T00:57:00.000-04:00

This is something I took from ' Waking the Dead' by John Eldridge...

"I love watching a herd of horses grazing in an open pasture or running free across the sage-covered plateaus in Montana. I love hiking in the high country when the wildflowers are blooming-- the purple lupine and the Shasta daisies, the Indian paintbrush when it's turning magenta. I love thunderclouds, massive ones. My family loves to sit outside on summer nights and watch the lightning, hear the thunder as a storm rolls across Colorado. I love water too--the ocean, streams, lakes, rivers, waterfalls, rain. I love jumpig off high rocks into lakes with my boys. I love old barns, windmills, the West. I love vineyeards. I love it when Stasi is loving something, love watching her delight. I love my boys. I love God.

Everything you love is what makes a life worth living. Take a moment, set down the book, and make a list of all the things you love. Whether it's the people in your life or the things that bring you joy or the places that are dear to you or your God, you could not love them if you did not have a heart. A life filled with loving is a life most like the one that God lives, which is life as it was meant to be (Eph. 5:1-2). And loving requires a heart alive and awake and free.

Of all the things that are required of us in this life, which is the most important? What is the real point of our existance? Jesus was confronted with the question point-blank one day, and he boiled it all down to two things: loving God and loving others. Do this, he said, and you will find the purpose of your life. Everything else will fall into place. Somewhere down inside we know it's true; we know love is the point. We know if we could truly love, and be loved, and never lose love, we would finally be happy. Gerald May wrote, "We are created by love, to lie in love, for the sake of love." And is it even possible to love without your heart?

The heart is the connecting point, the meeting place between any two persons. The kind of deep soul intimacy we crave with God and with others can be experiencd only from the heart. We don't want to be someone's project; we want to be the desire of their heart. May lamented, "By worshiping efficiency, the human race has achieved the highest level of efficiency in history, but how much have we grown in love?"

We've done the same to our relationship with God. Christians have spent their whole lives mastering all sorts of principles, done their duty, carried on the programs of their church ... and never know God intimately, heart ot heart. There that troubling passage Jesus gives us when he says that in the final account of our lives, some folks who did all sorts of Christian things will be genuinely surprised not to be invited into heaven. It reads, "Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not'" do all sorts of Christian things, amazing things? And Christ will say, "I never knew you" (Matt. 7:22-23). The point is not the activity--the point is intimacy with God. Attend a class and take in information; then use that information to change the way you live. None of that will bring you into intimacy with God, just as taking a course on anatomy won't help you love your spouse. "You will find me," God says, "when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13).

What more can be said, what greater case could be made than this: to find God, you must look with all your heart. To remain present to God, you must remian present to your heart. To hear his voice, you must listen with your heart. To love him, you must love with all your heart. You cannot live the life he meant you to live, unless you live from the heart."

Tears to Faith

2005-02-01T23:13:00.000-04:00

"Lord, have mercy on me because I am weak. Heal me, Lord, because my bones aches. I am very upset. Lord, how long will it be? Lord, return and save me; save me because of your kindness. Dead people don't remember you; those in the grave don't praise you. I am tired of crying to you. Every night my bed is wet with tears; my bed is soaked from my crying. My eyes are weak from so much crying; they are weak from crying about my enemies. Get away from me, all you who do evil, because the Lord has heard my crying. The Lord has heard my cry for help; the Lord will answer my prayer. All my enemies will be ashamed and troubled. They will turn and suddenly leave in shame."

Psalms 6:2-10

Another lesson from David: faith, when it seems like there is no way out. I can't really imagine being in the place of David. Continually on the run and in hiding ... I can't even imagine being as upset as he was. I've been through rough times before but I can't say I was as desperate as David was. Seems like he's in that "desert place" where God seems far away. That I can relate too. The encouraging part of this psalm though, is that David has such a great faith that God does hear him, and will answer his prayers. David believes that he will be saved, even when he's at a point of desperation.

Desperation leads us here ...

It's so amazing

Your unchanging love

Revolutionary Love - David Crowder

Dependency

2005-01-28T13:54:00.000-04:00

“I will steady him with my hand and strengthen him with my arm”
Psalms 89:21

This is something God revealed to David in a vision. Although God said it to David, I think we can take from this too. I think it’s a magnificent verse. It puts a picture in my head. I will steady him with my hand. Well I can’t really think of a time where I’ve been unable to walk on my own, but I’ve seen people. Older people for instance, a little unsteady on their feet. So what do you do? You hold their hand. Keep them steady. Hold their arm, so they can lean on you for support. You begin to walk as one person. Relying on the one keeping you steady. If you let go what happens? You fall.

God wants us to rely on Him this way. He wants to guide us and hold us steady through our life, through all the tough times, through all the good times. So many times we think we can do it on our own, we let go, and we stumble, or worse we fall.

Dependency. Depend on God in every little thing.